Zeta One

It's a very naked knock of of a James Bond vs Aliens film; so if it's the middle of the night and that sounds good...go ahead. They did have good taste in the casting department.

ZETA ONE is a very hard film to judge. It was clearly intended solely as a colorful, frivolous entertainment which showcased a great deal of female nudity, and to be fair, it makes with the nudity. As British kitsch goes, it's the genuine article. The story, though, is damnably messy--as a friend put it, "It's too confusing to masturbate to". The victim of a messy production, it has something to do with the all-female populace of the planet Angvia (clever) and a secret agent (Robin Hawdon).

This film, a lackluster imitation of James Bond, features a thin protagonist with a disingenuous mustache and a tedious game of strip poker as its opening sequence. Unfortunately, the story does not improve as the villain is a stunning woman, leading a squad of female henchmen who abduct and brainwash women in their quest for global domination. Despite promising steamy content, the script needs to catch up. It results in a tedious viewing experience.

There's only one word to use to describe the reason to watch this wretched celluloid: tits.