The Dungeonmaster

Stupid but also strangely entertaining. This movie has nothing to do with D&D, which may have disappointed the hopeful geeks who rented it, but since the movie delivers full-frontal female nudity within the first five minutes, they probably got over it. Our geeky-yet-super-studly main character apparently invented Google Glass and AI apps back in the early '80s, yet still lives in a small run-down apartment, making him the dumbest genius ever.

Our hero, the mighty X-calibr8, must overcome 7 grueling trials: a stop-motion stucco idol, a Gremlin/Kuato hybrid, some Disney dragons, the concept of heavy metal, a frozen wax museum, 3 hot chicks with full heads of 80s hair, some donut-munching NY cops, a New Mexican lizard fairy, 3 Arabs and a Jawa driving dune buggies, and Richard Moll caterwauling all the live-long day. I knew a kid like Richard Moll when I was 12. We let him DM our D&D sessions sometimes because we felt sorry for the guy.

Paul, a computer engineer, and his fiancee Gwen are abducted by Satan (Richard Moll, reveling in evil glee) and forced to pass a series of arduous trials to save their souls. Apparently Satan was bored and wanted to test his magic against the fancy ass computer (essentially a Pip-boy) that Paul invented. Utterly ridiculous cheezeball crap with early 80's laser effects galore, a guest appearance by WASP, and the immortal line "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

The kind of 80s cheese they don't even make anymore

A little bit fun, but mostly braindead crap and cheesy in a way that it feels almost embarassing to be watching it. One of the best things going for it is the short runtime. I found the resolution inexplicable given Gwen's earlier reservations, unless it simply comes down to the allure of your man being the most powerful wizard in the universe.

This was pretty good. I avoided it for the longest time because it didn't feel like something I would like. Boy, was I wrong. The film is a lot of fun with a ton of different set pieces that all work, surprisingly.

A movies whose images and VHS sleeve long preceded it. A decent amount of fun.

BY THE POWER OF THE PRINCE OF DARKNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Say the word and this will all be over." "The word is, 'No way!'"

This is one silly-ass movie.

Satan is vanquished by early-80s laser technology.