The Castle of Fu Manchu

Never knew this would ever happen, but a MST3K made me depressed. It wasn't the riff itself, but the movie is just so unbearably hard to watch, it destroys even the mentally toughest person. I just want to curl up and cry... I just know I'll get nightmares of the lighting, the editing and the boring non-existent story of this movie...

So is the mileage you get out of this character just correlated to how racist you are?

I just saw this and yet I've already forgotten its entire plot. The only thing that will stick with me is some of the worst lighting I've ever seen in a film.

Dull to the point of being physically painful. A masterclass in not making the audience give a shit about your story.

Fu Manchu sunk the Titanic?

George Lucas famously said the secret of film is in its illusion, and to keep making films when this one shows so little talent, Jesus Franco must have been full of tricks. But this was so scoop-my-eyes-out-with-a-spork bad, I kept thinking of G.O.B.: "It's an illusion, Michael. Tricks are what whores do for money."

Thanks MST3K. This movie is so bad I could not get through it sans commentary. What a mess. Lee probably wanted to forget this flick minutes after wrapping shooting.

Jesus Franco #4

About like watching glaciers race. Hard to believe that anything with Lee in it could be so insufferable. The best part is the first few minutes of him talking, but after that things take a plunge down an elevator shaft (except no, wait, that at least would've been EXCITING). Really the only thing remarkable about this one was the ongoing color-grading problems. And it just took about 5 minutes for this review to upload onto the site, and even THAT was more interesting than watching this film.

Mst3k score: 6/10