The Bible

Perhaps the ultimate biblical epic is fascinating from a production viewpoint, given Huston's avowed atheist beliefs; one can feel the skepticism creeping in during the horrific climax to Abraham and Isaac. Unfortunately the film itself is too self-serious and pretentiously campy to be successful, and lacks the battle scenes which usually enliven this genre. First half works best, with the Noah segment quite physically impressive.

Adam and Eve have blond hair and blue eyes blah blah blah...

And so the Lord said unto Abram: "dice up a few goats for me, and I shall do ye a solid." Yaweh looooooved killing things, just as long they weren't semites. The more goats and goys the better, I say. Line em up, cut em down; who cares? It's not our fault they weren't "chosen." Righteous, righteous stuff. Way to go Jehova.

One of the worst movies by a major director. He's a pretty funny Noah, though.

Fantasy cloud people floating in the sky are going to save you in eternal glory. What a crock of nonsense.