Prisoners of the Lost Universe

God bless the person who did the musical score for this movie, he tried so hard to make trash magical. I am a prisoner of garbage.

A sol-cal regional kendo champion and a PBS science show host team up to escape the horrors of a parallel universe which include a blue guy, some small guys, a big guy, some morlock guys, and a beard. The curly-haired sidekick taught me it was okay to hate life and want to throw myself off a 7-foot cliff onto a pile of sagebrush.

Plot holes so large they seem parallel universes themselves, acting so poor Stanislavski rose from the dead merely to weep, and a script...nevermind I'm not calling that a script, I've scrawled more enthralling piss stains on snow. It begs to be riffed on...when its not begging to be noticed at all. I hated this movie.

It should've stayed lost.

It is bad news for the movie when John Saxon is the best actor on set. Actually he's the best thing about this goofy low-budget british fantasy. He's this evil warlord dude (he looks a lot like Connery in Zardos here) who has an eloquent way to threaten people. The rest of the movie falls short of being impressive in any way. Lots of continuity shortcuts, sound-effects lifted from cartoons, etc.

A fun attempt at cashing in on the success of raiders. Instead of whip and leather jacket, dan dons a crooked screwdriver attached to an orange wire and a plaid shirt. That's the amount of seriousness you should take this with.

trash multiplicator: 2

This is terrible movie. The script is nonsense and there are way to many boring scenes. The characters are all poorly written. Overall this film is a mess.

Within five minutes I reckoned there must have been fair bit of coke on this set, maybe in the cutting room too. Some of the locations are quite nice, but the cast is pretty unlikable. Saxon is the most inspired but hardly improves the picture. Not too bad for camp value.