Night Train to Terror

Bad... but in a good, cheesy way. Cheap claymation special effects, wooden acting, and features my new favorite 80's horror movie song "Dance With Me, Dance With Me" which they play 3 times throughout the movie!

A recipe for disaster: start with a ridiculous basis that contains plenty of cheese, chop up 3 amazingly bad movies into 25 minute segments (making them even less coherent) and add them to the mix, let it congeal into a ludicrous package and for that perfect 80's flavor add in musical interludes that will make you question your sanity and sexuality. This movie is amazing for all the wrong reasons.

I told my buddy they were releasing a special edition of this and he said, "I'll definitely pick that up. That movie's so terrible I have to have it." That movie's so terrible I have to have it. My thoughts exactly.

Dance with me, dance with me, dance with me! It makes zero sense, all you have guiding you between segments is the filmmakers lust for breasts. Dance with me, dance with me, dance with me!

Even with 2/3 consigned to the cutting room floor, these 3 B-movies are pretty bad. The first one is an aimless slasher with plenty of nudity. The next involves a "game of death"; the characters are garbage but the highlight is a stop-motion mutant mosquito. Finally, a decrepit detective duo hunts a timeless relative of Satan, featuring extreme dullness and more stop-motion hellspawn. The undoubted high points are the brief animated sequences, although God is hammed up pretty finely too.

Combining three bad horror films into one and adding a VERY 80's musical number as an extra does not make the whole any better. It just makes it more confusing. Sure, there are plenty of WTF moments and the film moves at a rapid pace, but that's to be expected given it was trimmed from full length films. I can see why it appeals to some, but IMO it's never on so-bad-that-it's-good level due to the fact that it was mainly done in editing room.

Really insane, scattered, and hilarious. Each segment reminded me a bit of Michael Kupperman's writing (it was probably unintentional). The last segment was easily the weakest but it was still really funny and unpredictable.

A special kind of terrible.

Extra points for not being a terrible as I was expecting. When the first story was mostly just random boobs with no context for ten minutes or so, I was fearing the worst, but then it started growing on me. By no means are any of the stories superbly written or acted, but there is a campy charm to them. The second is by far the most interesting, the third is easily the weakest. The song played over & over between segments gets annoying, the religious allegory stuff is bizarre. All said...weird.

The shorts that make up this anthology are actually all (poorly) edited down from full length films, that at one time I owned VHS copies of. This is truly amazing shit. It is shit, mind you, but it's good shit.

High camp value but the confused, unfinished episodes and disturbing misogyny detract from the experience. Highlights are the lipsyncing, dancing "rock band" on board the train and some hilarious effects in the last segment.