Madame Web

Madame Web steals a taxi and then drives it around everywhere and then goes to Peru for a week and then is STILL driving it when she gets back?? Was it just parked in the airport for a week? Didn’t the driver who *saw her steal it* report it stolen? Otherwise just a fucking dogshit movie that is obsessed with letting you know it’s 2003 and is full of like public domain Spider-Man shit like “when you assume great responsibility, great power will come”. That’s a REAL QUOTE. Dakota Johnson rocks

Sony really needs to knock this crap off. Stop with the false advertising. Stop hiring untalented writers. Stop intervening with your filmmakers. Stop wasting actors’s time and the audience’s as well. An atrocious movie. It’s laughably bad some moments and BAD-bad at others. The dislogue is cringey and/or insulting. Some of the cast tries their best, but they literally have nothing interesting to go off of. The worst part is that the protagonist is selfish and unlikable. Unintentionally funny.

This is the greatest movie I have ever seen. The fact that Dakota Johnson drives a stolen taxi for the entire film, parks the stolen taxi at the airport to go to Peru, rides back in the taxi, then kills the villain at the exploding Pepsi factory makes this the single most unhinged spectacular of the year.

An amazing collosus piece of shit. It's paced like a death march, the dialogue is alien, the villain gargles his stupid lines, Adam Scott shoving the script up his butt. If this didn't star a totally doesn't want to be here Dakota Johnson walking through it I'd loathe this. Every Sony Marvel movie feels like it should've come out in the 90s and this smash cut ended with the cranberries. The PSP came out in 2005, this takes place in 2003, was the man on the subway a warning on how bad it will

Is this really what it has come down to when Hollywood says 'women empowerment'?

Madame Web is quite possibly a contender for worst super hero movie of all time. Whether it’s the dialogue, script, ADR, lack of interesting set pieces, or dull characterization…there is nothing here that is passable in comparison to other movies of the subgenre. However, this is hilariously bad in a very rare way that my experience was quite enjoyable. It’s impressive how DJ does not give a single fuck. 1/10 actual score, but as a bad movie it’s a 10/10. Quite amazing to be honest.

I mean, what do you want me to say? The rumors are true: It’s not the best!

Another case of an odd critical and commercial evisceration – far from the best Marvel has produced, and could be accused of being too much sizzle and not enough steak by never letting its heroes fly fully into action, but it’s good natured and served well by a sparky cast who have fun leaning into the (god I’m old!) period setting of 2003. Never quite capitalises on its most intriguing element – Johnson’s ability to time-hop or manipulate time; links back to Spider-Man seem a bit gratuitous.

So bad it actually caused damage to my relationship

Zeus's beard, no-one cared about this. I don't think it's interesting enough to be truly terrible, but I can't argue against rating this lower. Stop hiring the clownshoes who wrote this and Morbius, they really suck.

I think if you're not committed to disliking this (and a lot of people are), you can probably find the pathway to enjoying it. I don't love how it tells its story, it gives nothing any time to breathe, there's no subtlety in its execution - it's cheesy and quick and often suspect in its performances. It stops short of begging to be fast-tracked into the MCU, BUT, it isn't abysmal and it COULD go in interesting directions. Maybe. Ignore the NSA spy stuff, it's just kinda there and it's weird.

2 systemic problems brought this to life. The first is Sony trying to wring out every last $$ they can get from their Spiderman IP resulting in a film about a character no comic fan was asking for. The second is Woke DEI mandates incentivizing studios to make films about "diverse" characters only Wokesters claim to care about. Johnson is sexy so this wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be (how could it be?) but it highlights the DEI problem: they made a film for a female audience that doesn't exist.

It turns out, it is possible to be both entertaining, and terrible

Despite how messy it is (characterization and plot, plus implications for future Sony Spider-Man movies, which diminishes Peter Parker), I was entertained when it was flirting a little bit with horror and whatnot. I like Johnson. I like superhero movies so I'm more forgiving. Bad interpretation of Web. It's corny with some dumb camera angles, dialogue. Nice usage of "Toxic." But I can't give it a passing grade, ultimately, because the finale is lifeless, unbelievable action.

A decent concept horrendously executed.

Total cheese, less-than-stellar acting, and totally inconsist leaps in chronology and logic aside, this is an enjoyable popcorn flick. The themes of maternal protection and nuture work surprisingly well, and the early 2000s setting is used well at parts.

Totally disagree with the critics on this one. Wow, it’s no classic. It’s still a fun action packed origin story superhero movie. I’ll just say some of the acting and dialogue wasn’t the greatest and there might be some plot holes.

I guess the worst thing about this movie was how painfully boring it was. For a superhero origin story, it had no exposition and no story. Nothing happened and we had no idea what was going on.

This film has some interesting ideas, I'm not familiar with the character from the comics. However the script seems like the first third of most super hero movies but there is no mid or final act. There are some over done moments, like can we not have a movie that has a character that is pregnant that does not need to give birth before the movie ends. The three teenage characters needed more distinct characteristics. Overall this film is disappointing.

I regret to inform you that this is the best movie ever. We can stop making any more movies. The peak has been reached. Should Sony continue on this trajectory, 'Kraven the Hunter' is going to change humanity forever.

Devamı çekilecek mi bilemiyorum ama Madame Web'in orijin hikayesi olması sebebiyle önemli. Öncelikle belirtmek lazım kadro çok iyi, tempo zaman zaman orijin hikayeyi anlatması sonucunda düşüyor ama yine de iyi. Özellikle son yarım saat dikkat çekici.

It honestly wasn't as offensively bad as I expected it to be, but this still ranks among the worst of the superhero adaptations. It's unsure what tone to adopt - whether a wry comedy or a female empowerment action movie - and the entire movie hinges on a villain whose mission is never completely clear and who is possibly one of the most uncompelling villains in recent memory. Add in a terrible script with some truly laughable lines, wooden acting, and a rushed climax and it's all a mess.

Imagine every spider species in the world biting you for 2 hours. Terrible.

Yeah, it's bad. It starts ok and has some interesting levels of camp here and there -- cheesy time loops and shit --, until it feels just largely not very fun at all. Maybe too convoluted for an origin story -- I really loved this character on that 1990s Spidey animated series and wished they'd chosen a better approach -- and it doesn't help that the climax seems so lazy and undercooked -- Rahim's Sims is unbelievably dull. Still think it's better than Venom and Morbius.

I know everybody is shitting on this, but as long as Dakota Johnson want to do movies I'd rather have her do thins than 50 Shades. I got some enjoyment out of it. While it was never great, I think the biggest miss with Madame Web (2024) is the demographic. Feels like it's a movies made for 7-year-old girls when the Marvel hardcores are more like 40-year-old men.

Look, I knew Sony has a terrible track record, but the early reviews were all "Anti-white" and "Woke" and "Pro-feminist," so I'm sure I'll be forgiven for thinking this might actually have some merit. Alas, it has none, aside from how it has infuriated fragile men. I'm trying hard to find another quality, I swear, but there's just nothing! So, for completely different reasons than those above, and because those reviews were cruelly false, I must also call this bad. :(

Thiswouldabeatanyonebutyouiftheymaderherlookhotterlmao+Timewebsarecool+ancientspidermendonealittletoolamely+flippingtheresponsibilityquotelmao

At least Catwoman (2004) had a decent start. Madame Web is atrocious is almost every way. Poor acting, terrible dialogue, nonsensical logic (especially regarding the police), and a complete lack of suspense in the way the precognition abilities are portrayed. Clarkson should be ashamed of what she produced here.

Kinda camp at times but also incredibly tedious. I love Dakota Johnson's bored delivery and the lines they added in post production, really sells it.

I only watched this for the MG association

"I just wanna go home and watch Idol!" And thus, a camp classic is born.

It's mystifying how bad this movie is. Unintentionally one of the funniest films of the year, and maybe decade

movie of the year for sure. was the he-man heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa song very faintly playing in the background of one scene or was i hallucinating

This is an awesome movie. Saw it with a Co worker. (Y). So basically the main bad guy steals a spider so he can have ultimate power. Pretty basic here. Then Madame Web is you here in the movie who protects these 3 girls because bad guy is trying to kill these 3 girls because they later on in the future get powers etc. Madame Web see the future, Dakota Johnson as her & is really funny & likeable. So basically & the end of the movie she's blind & can see in the future.

Opinión personal: 4.5 Actores: 3.5 Guión: 3.5 Fotografía: 3 BSO: 6 Otros:4 Iluminación: FX:1 Director: Humor:4 Vestuario/caracterización: Ritmo:7.5 Total:39

audiovisual 46 acting 40 overall feeling 54 avg 47