Kindergarten Cop 2

There are not enough 4-letter words in the entire 20 volumes of the OED to express how I felt after watching this. I think the message was, if you eat processed sugar and learn battle tactics of the Greeks, you can be a real American like Dolph and get hawt, bespectacled kindergarten teachers to make with out you in the play area. Let's just say the most realistic scene was when our post-processed hero bit into a Twix bar to signal an army of 5-year olds to subdue 2 armed Albanian mafia members.

Actually watchable. Dolph puts up with the shenanigans in admirable fashion. Don Michael Paul, who directed the unexpectedly decent 'Tremors 5: Bloodline', seems to be carving a niche for himself, defying expectations with STV sequels that turn out not to suck. This makes me want to explore his output further, starting with 'Lake Placid: The Final Chapter', 'Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy', 'Jarhead 2: Field of Fire' and, naturally, 'Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell'. I don't see how that can go wrong.

good movie

Interesting how a DTV sequel to a famous 90s action comedy manages to both explore Dolph's sarcastic qualities and diss on liberal values -- kids have allergies, don't eat normal sugar, gluten etc. It would be way better if the script were more loose and Dolph had more room for improv. But it's silly, painless fun.

Kindergarten Cop.... TWO??!!! Starring DOLPH LUNDGREN!!!! How can anyone resist that craptastic idea?!!! If that doesn't convince you.... they have Lundgren doing LINE DANCING!!! Now I know even you can't resist the urge to witness the unescapable disaster that is Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016)!

Shouldn’t a ‘2’ in the title denote some kind of episodic continuation, not just a vaguely similar idea starring completely different actors playing completely different characters? Lundgren’s okay, and the idea of him working at some mega-woke modern school has potential, but bar one chuckle at the word ‘retarded’ I failed to find anything funny here. The only reason I even considered this was because I was lying on the sofa, deliriously ill, and it was still as dogshit as I knew it would be.

This movie is crap but still better than most kids' movies.

Neither as good or as bad as 'Dolph Lundgren in KINDERGARTEN COP 2' would suggest; this contrived sequel is ultimately pointless and silly, with a very strange set-up to get Lundgren into the class-room in the first place. But Lundgren is amusing enough in the role, and the children by and large are a cut above the average child performances.

Dolph Lundgren just is a too stable actor for this role. He didn't really pull any panicked stunts like Arnold Schwarzenegger did. Also I really expected the fat bearded guy who works in the kindergarten to be some kind of secret bad guy. The kids are more annoying than what I remember from the first movie.

So...yeah. I don't wanna rag on this too much; it's goodhearted enough. The contortions that the plot undergoes in order to get Dolph undercover as a kindergarten teacher sorta oughtta be seen to be believed. For about twenty minutes in the middle it's pretty amusing, thanks to stuff like the drippy principal instructing students to "be the change" and the full-on riot that Dolph creates by bringing a peanut butter sandwich into the classroom.

The most positive thing I can say is that it's not nearly as bad as it could've been. This was another case of We Hate Movies is doing it so I'm watching it. I like Dolph Lundgren (who is still looking beefy as fuck) so maybe this didn't seem as bad as it was and I hope he got paid well for this.