Hercules in New York

What a fragrant hunk of cheese this is! Looks like it was made for about $75 and a couple gift certificates. Schwarzenegger was credited as “Arnold Strong” because it was easier to spell and emphasized his primary skill of lifting heavy things. (They didn’t call him “Arnold Talented.”) They also dubbed his voice because his accent was even thicker then than it is now, if such a thing is possible. Basically, Schwarzenegger’s actual contributions to this movie were the same as a Muppet’s.

When Arnold (Strong) body slams a man in a bear suit in Central Park, the worlds of cinema and American politics are forever altered.

"So we signed this Arnold Schw... Schaw...Strong guy. What does he do? Can he act?" "God, no." "Is he funny?" "Well... Define 'funny'." "Is he sexy? He's foreign, isn't he?" "He's AUSTRIAN." "Shit. Can he fight?" "He can sort of push people or lift them off their feet." "So what does he DO?" "He... um... takes his shirt off a lot." "Jesus. Call the guy in the bear suit. Next to him anyone looks good."

The highlight: Arnold fights a bear that is clearly a man in a suit. For that (and his butchery of the "film"'s "dialogue") alone it's actually tempting to move this all the way up to tier 10. It's hilariously horrible!

Endlessly fascinating film. The cinematography gives it the exact same feel as a soft core pornography movie, with all the sex cut out of it. Instead, though, you're treated to Arnold pre-stardom (called Strong instead of Schwarzenegger) fighting a guy in a bear suit, that I suspect is supposed to be a bear. With this film it's really hard to tell.

Hercules in New York certainly set the standard for the best worst film ever made. You have to question what on earth the so called filmmakers of this where thinking. If they fully intended for this to be a painfully awkward comedy then they certainly succeeded. And it bizarrely looks and feels like a 70's soft porno but without the porn. Arnold Schwarzenegger is hilariously woeful in his debut role. But admittedly Hercules wrestling a man in a bear suit is absolute unintentional comedy gold.

The sad story of a pretzel merchant.

With a bare grasp of the English language Arnold Strong wades his topless way through poorly recorded, sometimes out of focus New York. I can't remember why he was made to do that, but there's a pretzel seller, some Italian mob stereotypes and Olympus was set in a park with the background traffic still audible. Fuck.

This isn't even really a movie. It's actually Arnold Schwarzenegger's biography. The dubbing is bad, the plot is nearly nonexistent, and it's completely ridiculous. Total crap!

They proudly say this was completely filmed in New York and it shows, but in a bad way. The Zeus scenes look like they're filmed in someone's backyard. The plot is TV-thin shenanigans. This Arnold Strong guy was ridiculously huge and may be going places, though. Fav scenes: competing in athletics; chariot chase through Central Park with Arnold whipping someone in a car.

Has some funny moments, but not enough to keep your interest. Poorly made on basically every level.

Oh man

A one take film through and through. Although meandering and plotless it still feels briskly paced with odd ball shenanigans in every scene. I can't decide which is worse though; the dubbed Schwarzenegger or the real Schwarzenegger. But either way you have to go with the real Schwarzenegger. Highly Recommended.

Fascinatingly bad film, but nothing to great of a B-film.

So ridiculous. Terrible dubbing over Arnold and unfunny gag after gag. Really painfully awkward. Go watch it right now. He slams a man in a terrible bear costume! Heehee!

It's bad and I love it.

This is a very special thing

Everybody's got to start somewhere.

Hilariously awful.

One of the finest examples of bad film I've ever seen. If you thought Collateral Damage and Red Heat were bad Arnie vehicles, you haven't seen Hercules in New York.

A must see. Dispite the low rating :)

Has some unintentionally funny moments but otherwise it's really horrible.

A movie could not be more ridiculous than this! But watch the original voice track version, especially for people from German speaking countries, it's so great!

Ugh, I hate when shit like this uses the Greek names for some characters and the Roman for others.

Just bad.

5 points for the movie, 30 points for Arnold's original voice track (found on DVD), 5 more points for the cheesy dubbed voice track.

This is the Governator's first starring movie role and my God, this is a stinker. Terrible acting, terrible dubbing, terrible bear costumes, terrible Woody Allen impersonators... all-around terrible.

It's Arnie's first movie, so you should see it just because. The dubbing is just horrible, and the actual plot is ridiculous. It's basically an excuse for Arnold to pose and throw heavy objects.

and world met with arnie

Arnold Vs. a "bear"!!!

Ridiculous.

An independent comedy with one recognizable star: Arnold... Arnold Stang. Radio and TV sitcom regular of the past decades, panelist of the Goodson-Todman era, voice of Top Cat. Also, zither music. The prop wandered in from a peplum is a certain other Arnold. He was about 22, and anything resembling "acting experience" was over a decade in his future. But he does wrestle a man in a bear suit and flip a car among other athletic feats. Amusing, but doesn't fight Godzilla like in that poster.

I can see why Arnold Schwarzenegger automatically bails out of any interview if this film is mentioned. Dreadful and charmless.

This is a mess. Stupid, cheap, unfunny crap that one guy had to be in before moving onto better things. A true inspiration for young actors who only get roles in embarrassing stuff. Someday we could all be like the great Arnold Strong.

It's slow, it's boring and Arnold is terrible. On the plus side he fights a man in a bear costume and the Olympus scenes honestly look like porn without the sex. Mostly it's just Schwarzenegger walking around doing dull 'fish out of water' stuff that involves being strong (lifting, throwing, fighting).

Notorious debut for "Arnold Strong" is unfortunately the worst sort of bad movie - limp and not outlandish enough to be bad-funny, though laughs can be had at the campy vamping of Zeus' council, and the characterising of supposedly Greek Hercules as 'the foreigner' when speaking in a dubbed Peter Graves-ish monotone. Stang's irritating comic relief is a major debit; Karen is always a welcome presence, even in lesser films.

Schwarzennegger's first movie is good for a laugh as it is so poorly made and super cheesy. He is super buffed here freshly after being mr.universe. The scene with the 'bear' in the park will have you rolling on the floor.

Worth a watch to see Arnold suplex a bear and the most bizarre sauerkraut joke, but the film should probably only be viewed with a willing crowd.

Pre-Terminator Schwarzenegger is designed to capitalize on his Mr. Universe status and as such its full of this strange body builder fetishism. The human form taken to extremes it perhaps should never reach, out of sheer perverseness. If all images are simply light reflecting off objects and into our retinas, Hercules in New York is purely the glare of Arnie's chest.

Prezzy :(

They say time is relative. This has been proven a fact after scientists discovered watching "Hercules in New York" makes 75 minutes feel like 190.

29.500

Some great moments, but it gets dull. Arnold Stang is more memorable than Schwarzenegger somehow.

Bad acting, bad special effects and terrible dialogue somehow combined in the most unwittingly funny movie I've ever seen. Drinking Game Tip: have a drink whenever Hercules utters the sentence "I'm Hercules", takes his shirt off or acts like a scumbag.

A classic movie released in 1969 about a man who travels to New York where as a complete stranger out of his depth he is taken in by a poor hustler who wishes to use the stranger to make money. After some initial success at demonstrating this man's prowess he seems to lose his mojo for a time before getting it back. We watch as these two characters try to survive in the dangerous big city but by the final scene the two friends part ways. No wait, that's Midnight Cowboy

Faine chariet! But vere are ze vorses!

The main thing that's funny about this movie is Arnie's deadpan response to everything which gets funnier when he's supposed to show actual emotion. Hercules' feats in this film are so tepid that it's hard to take seriously. A lot of this shit is stuff normal people could achieve, nothing about Hercules is remarkable here. That aside, the movie is made boring by a bland supporting cast and never really do anything outlandish enough to be funny... Aside from the bear. The bear was great!

lolol

It is horribly bad, but unfortunately not in a way that makes it funny. A couple of chuckles is all you get. The bear scene however is epic. Watch it at youtube.

It's so damn bad that I just cannot give it a bad score. I loved every horrible minute of it. Masterpiece of an awful movie. The fight with the bear must be seen to be believed.

ok

Fun for its history.