Hawk the Slayer

The crummiest D&D campaign imaginable, brought to the screen (in drab colors) thanks to the charismatic performances of a block of wood in a vaguely human form, a 5-foot guy who is supposed to be a Dwarf, a 6-foot guy who is supposed to be a giant, an emotionally dead inside creeper playing an elf psychopath who massacres indiscriminately, a bucket filled with bouncing balls and Jack Palance having reached some magic acting plateau of Giving Absolutely Zero Fucks And Being Fascinatingly Bad.

"I am no messenger, but I will give you a message. The message... OF DEATH!!!" Best quote ever, from one of the stupidest films ever. Everything about it is pure cheese, including Jack Palance, who is clearly just taking the piss. No-one can act that badly without it being deliberate. My favourite bit is when the blind witch jumps out and kills someone with silly-string.

Utterly silly and kitsch, but it manages to be entertaining both in its incompetent charm and that it completely avoids all the worst aspects of high fantasy, the pretention and the incomprehensible encyclopaedia of names and terms that drown out even the schlocky films. Here it felt like an excuse for actors to dress up in medieval garb, and with Jack Palance chewing the scenery with gusto, it is a delight when so much of the genre is imaginatively stunted and tedious.

Just like Prince of Darkness the message of death delivers everything I want in a movie. This could probably be renamed "Voltan and the Other Guy" as far as how memorable our hero/villain combo is. These are the worlds I love to live in. I hope Hawk the Slayer and Deathstalker have brunch sometimes.

Very amusing low-budget fantasy adventure movie

LARP: The Motion Picture.

I prefer this over Lord of the Rings.

Not cheesy enough to be enjoyable as a "bad" film, but not really competent enough to be considered decent, either. Why does the elf character talk in a horrible monotone throughout?

"Watch this, it's cult" One letter out.

Wonderfully bad and campy. It has a hammy villain who can't steer a horse, somewhat likeable side characters, and silly string.

Quite bad honestly, but I loved it for that.

Worth a watch for the disco-laden horserides and Jack Palance earning every penny of his paycheck with vintage overacting.

Let's be clear: I'm grading this on behalf of my 12-year-old self. This may seem unbelievably derivative & predictable now, w/ 2 lead performances that are, bizarrely, far worse than the capable actors beside them (to say Terry is wooden or that Palance overacts is putting things mildly), but in 1981, D&D fans could see no better live-action sword & sorcery flick than this. Excalibur & Conan were more ambitious, but this hit all the fantasy touchstones in ways those films couldn't.

I can't wait to abuse the messenger line in public.

ger; [Der Hüter des magischen Schwertes; Hawk The Slayer]; hawk muss seinen bösen bruder besiegen - dabei helfen ihm elf, riese, zwerg und sein fliegendes schwert.;

Much maligned.

Astoundingly bad.

Cheesy but somehow amusingly funny.