Hamburger... The Motion Picture

For an R-rated slapstick comedy from the 80s called Hamburger...I expected more buns. Get it? BUNS. Because it means ass.

If ever I worry my writing has become trite, derivative, or offensive, I can watch this and remind myself what bad, bad writing really feels like. That said, most of the actors gamely try their best, and sometimes the least banal scenes are somewhat watchable. But I can't understand how someone can spend so much money on a film with that script. The mind boggles. Oh, and the music is great, extra five points. The main problem, though: Not Funny. Weirdly watchable though ... another 5 points.

Borderline bad. Perhaps this rating is generous. The theme song celebrating the 'glory' of burgers, especially as a uniquely American cultural product, creates false expectations of something approaching satire when it's really just another dumb sex comedy cashing in on the then ubiquitous trend.

Terribly offensive and offensively terrible. "Lewd, Crude, and Nude" will be the title of my autobiography if the banana-hammock business ever takes off.

created to follow in police academy's wake, HTMP is its infinite superior, fulfilling that need which a more studio oriented, traditionally slapstick, confined comedy can not -- that yearning for humor treating social norms and clichés with blasé abandon and playing on them so Gleefully, that you laugh while being embarrassed for laughing, turn red, and wish that you could always have such guiltless fun. HTMP can be used as a guilty pleasure for some, but I watch it proudly.