Fateful Findings

My first Neil Breen feature, and while it was less bonkers than I'd hoped, this is still an impressive feat of deluded filmmaking. Breen is one of the worst actors I've ever seen and this crazy, crazy man has no sense of shame, human interaction or narrative flow. No scene logically leads to the next, it's amazing. He also plays a SUPER HACKER (we never see him hack anything) and the irresistible ladies man / laptop wrecker that the world of today sorely needs. That final segment, holy shit.

There are way to many women who let Neil Breen see their breasts but only gave the audience a tease without showing us the whole thing. This isn't me being greedy and wanting to see. I'm legitimately concerned for their safety. A warning to all women, Neil Breen doesn't deserve to see your breasts. Maybe you aren't a special snowflake, but you're better than this. Please seek help away from Breen's monotone and emotionless existence.

Friend: "What do you think of this Neil Breen guy?" Me: "Well, he can't act, he can't write, his set design is awful and his sound design is worse, he somehow manages to cast actors that can't emote, he has no idea how to frame a shot and it's doubtful he could direct a coherent infomercial, but son of a bitch does he have a lot of laptops. Let's watch another one."

Laptop Destroying Simulator 2013. This is my first Breen. Obviously it's so bad it's entertaining HACKING, but it's not quite the room for me HACKING because there are some scenes that go on way too HACKING long and I got a little bored. If he edited it down a little bit this would be so much HACKING better. Terrible acting, scenes don't flow into one another, there's no reason why this is a paranormal political drama thriller, and the HACKING suicides are funny. HACKING. Funny.

This is less a film and more an experience. This is basically "The Room" for a new decade. Looking up Neil Breen on Wikipedia and seeing that he's slightly older than my father was a real trip. Every scene asks more questions than they answer. I loved how scenes would just end without much reason. Much like this review.

Kids with a shiny mushroom that turns into a box and farts + glitterbible + 4 laptops + loud hacking + many suicides + more hacking + headaches + Neil Breen's ass + NOT writing a book but HACKING + Neil Breen's naked ass in a dark cave (aka walls covered with black plastic bags) + laptop being smashed or covered with coffee + hacking + dirty pool + Neil Breen being irresistable for all the ladies + more farts = ??????????????????????????????????????????

So far the weakest of Breen's works. But even great directors sometimes have a bad day.

neil breen simply could not live up to his standards this time. he may have gone too far in a few places. there's the memorable moment here and there, but altogether this is his weakest effort. all hope's on "pass thru" now.

I am in awe. In awe! How could you do this Neil? How could you do this? Neil, you have to stop. Promise me you will stop this Neil. Promise me.

Another smash-hit from Neil Breen. How this man is three movies into his directorial library and still unaware that his following only watches his movies either ironically or because they are hilariously bad is beyond me. But than again, after having watched all of his theatrical releases, he seems to be exactly that crazy.

What the fuck did I just watch? This Neil Breen guy makes Tommy Wiseau look like the next Andy Milligan or Polonia brothers. Which shouldn't be a complement, but there you go. +5 points for impressing me with its awfulness..

horrid

[CAPTAIN'S JOURNAL: STAR DATE... WHO CARES BY THIS POINT?] After suffering major casualties in the battle of Planet 9, we've dispatched a fresh battalion of our most foolhardy soldiers to defeat the enemy once and for all. Unprepared and insufficiently trained for the bloodbath that followed, those lucky enough to have survived returned home with severe injuries and irreparable brain damage. Psychiatric treatment may last months, if not years; Oh well, at least we get some free pot out of it...

Neil Breen is close to being the next Tommy Wiseau and I sure hope he can reach those heights. Fateful Findings is indeed an even more disjointed and dysfunctional film than The Room, which works for its benefit (with some downright baffling scenes) and its detriment (with some fairly dull and overly long scenes). It feels like it's running out of a bit of steam when it approaches its end, but the climax is ... well, probably the most cathartic ending for America right now.

The perfect movie to watch with friends less-than-sober. One of my very favourite films ever made

I love this garbage!

This is kind of a movie. Pretty painful to watch, even with friends and drugs. Amazing ending, too bad it takes 90 minutes to get there.

fav bad movie. more entertaining than the room.

No more books!

Breen's latest effort is distinctively less ambitious than his magnum opus, I Am Here Now...., purporting to more successfully promote the idea that divine intervention is unnecessary to effect radical change. If we all do our part to eliminate corporate greed Breen's utopia shall be realised!

This one fell flat and I had trouble enjoying it on any level.

I want my time back. It's not charming; it's bad. In every way. Not good-bad. Bad-bad: pacing, performance, ego-maniacal, reductionist, ugh... please stop.

Stop giving this man money. He is a terrible filmmaker and should be seen as such.

By far Breen's most coherent film, it's a Lynchian style thinkpiece that never even tries to suggest answers to the many questions he poses.

Neil Breen tackles alcoholism and drug addiction, and realises he can get women naked for what we shall charitably call art? It's the usual god complex confusing mess, but with breasts sometimes!

Not seen the whole thing not sure if it is a technothriller.

It's a magical day!

Oh dear

This man is a genius. And such a multi-talent!