Elves

Santa Claus Conquers the Nazis. Wait, that makes this sound way more awesome than it is.

What an awful, rotten piece of garbage, I loved it. A perfect anti-Christmas movie that writes its way through the bottom of its lovably bad B-movie framework revealing a startling misanthropic insanity that's truly a wonder to behold. Unfortunately half of said insanity had been spoiled for me so just take my word on this, if this is the first you hear of "Elves" do yourself a wonderful disservice and mark it down for a holiday viewing.

It takes your standard holiday themes of dysfunction, trauma, incest, nazism, animal cruelty and magic and manages to assemble these disparate elements into something even more psychotic and hateful than the sum of its parts. Truly the greatest christmas movie of them all. "He was a pervert and a drug addict and somebody killed him. Isn't that the spirit of Christmas?"

Leave it on the shelf

Bad Movie

Have you always wanted to see a movie about creepy elves and Nazis? If the answer is yes then go make one yourself because they tried here and failed miserably. This movie fails on all levels. My advice is skip this one and watch something else.

Terrible and not fun to watch at all. No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

nazi elves fuck off

This is just a weird movie, all over the place. The actual elf monster is creepy at least. My understanding is that Nazis wanted to create some elf monster race thing or whatever. I don't know honestly, this movie feels low budget even for the 1980s.

This is just an embarrassment of a movie, what a pile of shit.

C-

The production is lousy even though they had something of a budget. Overall the acting's pretty bad. And the music is non-existent. The Elf is not half bad (comparatively). But Dan Haggerty is given plenty to do, and granted he's sleep walking through, but bless him it sells the picture anyways. The story gets more and more absurd with each new beat. And it's gloriously 80's trailer trash. I'd recommend not reading any synopsis because just about the only thing going for it is the "Wha?" factor.

How you create a race of super beings by cross breeding a mongoloid gnome with an incest child somehow evades me, but hey, it's nazis...these dudes basically tried it all, you name it.

"A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil Nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends are trapped in a department store with an elf, and only Dan Haggerty, as the renegade loose-cannon Santa Claus, can save them." Better than it sounds (? !)