Don't Leave Home

Primary school students REJOICE! Now you can turn your diorama-creating skills into a CAREER! No talent, no motivation, NO PROBLEM! Just choose to recreate scenes of people getting abducted or decapitated or run over by cars and WATCH AS THE MONEY ROLLS IN!* (*Clients may be limited to those living in small Irish hamlets.) (**Patronage may include dissatisfying dinners and occasional dislocation to alternative planes of reality.)

This movie fails on so many levels. Bad filmography, uninspired writing, terribly slow pacing and unremarkable acting. The suitably spooky music was generally well done. Nothing happens except for a small amount of supernatural nonsense. Some mysterious and sinister forces was the best the writers tiny brains could muster. Dreams within dreams was the only good element, and the rest was entirely lame and pointless. Mostly a complete waste of time.

I could see the whole thing but more for the what happens at the end, if anything happens, than for me actually liking the movie. Boring as Hell and barely Horror touches here and there. Original script that is for sure. Metascore of 65, sometimes I lose faith in them.

I'm surprised that this was given a theatrical release, even such a limited one. Acting and cinematography give the film a cheap, straight-to-video feel that the flat characters and interesting, but underdeveloped, central supernatural idea can't overcome. There's purposeful ambiguity and then there's vagueness: this lands on the wrong side. The protagonist is notably underwritten: she's nice, she's gullible, that's it. We have no idea what makes her tick or drives her art. A disappointment.

bad movie

As though Don't Look Now and Rosemary's Baby had a low budget lovechild.