Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

How many movies come attached with their own tagline? Transformers: The Robots That Transform. Superman: The Man That Flies. Children of Men: The People That Stop Having Babies. Mulholland Drive: The... That one's too hard.

Judging by the title alone I expected this to be awesome, but it turned out to be one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. Too bad you can't punch movies, 'coz I'd like to punch this one in the face. Sheer disappointment. The only thing it has going for it, is that it's only slightly better than Sex and the City 2.

Horrid movie, but it gets prop for the sheer hutzpa of centering a horror movie around a FUCKING BED THAT EATS. I mean, seriously- how absolutely fucking off the hook awesome is that? Okay, so the movie is very obviously low budget and it is 100% more interesting for its ambitions than for its actual contents but damn... "The Bed That Eats".

See, here's the thing about pre-franchise horror that no amount of direct-to-VHS sequels or Patton Oswalt routines can prepare you for: How utterly WEIRD 70s horror could be. The random voiceovers, the not-even-nonsensical plot, the lingering shots of nothing in particular, beds drinking wine bottles, people boredly firing guns into acid as it eats them alive... It's not that it doesn't make sense, it questions the very idea that sense (and beds) can be made. It just lies in it.

If anyone takes this film seriously they need to question their reality. If you take it instead as a half-scary, half-humorous dream where a painting talks a woman to death and a death bed drinks Pepto Bismol, there are images and atmosphere to reward your experience.

Sadly this so-bad-it's-good idea for a movie premise is just disappointingly bad. Although there are a few scenes or moments hidden in this artsy horror, most of the film is just plain old bad. Still some credit is due for the commitment put into even making this movie. That despite the cheap production, George Barry and company really put a lot of effort into making a killer bed come to life on-screen. Probably best to just avoid the film, despite how amazing the title makes it sound.

There are enough interesting shots in this film that just barely rescue the film from being a complete abomination. Unfortunately, it can't live up to its silly title.

Nowhere near as entertainingly so-bad-it's-good as its title and premise make it sound. Just a dull, boring, glacially-paced slog that makes 80 minutes feel like three hours.

Goddamn you, Patton Oswalt. Only watched this cause of his comedy bit about this movie and was expecting a movie that was so bad that it was good but instead just got a shitty movie. A couple of really what the fuck moments and a shitload of tits though.

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS A DEATH BED. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND THE DEATH BED ATE HIM. ONE TIME THE BED GOT A CHICKEN AND A WINE. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND THE BED TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP EATENING ALL THE THINGS. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE DEATH BED WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED

Genuinely stylish, sometimes a little too funny. Watched in bed, lived to tell tale. Strikes balance between “amateurs being cheeky and surreal” and “made by space alien”.

Italian sleeze , HK-movie level craziness , American screwball and pompous art film all wrapped in one . Couldn't tell you if it's good or bad but some of those scenes drag on for too long to no purpose.

It's got it's moments for sure, the dad from Boy Meets World staring at his, ahem, hands is amazing work. But it's a repetitive mess with no sense for pacing or story that should have been a short. More famous as a literal punchline in a stand-up bit than anything truly worth watching repeatedly.

This needs to be seen by everybody at some time in their lives. Can't wait for Rape Stove: The Stove That Rapes!

As one of the poor fools who couldn't help tracking it down after listening to Oswalt's stand-up routine, it feels repetitive to call this a bad movie, with horrible acting and of course a profoundly stupid concept, but it does manage to create a legitimate atmosphere similar to some of the horror stuff I've seen that came out of Spain and Italy around the same time.

Boy, do I hate the 70's.

Wow, since Patton Oswalt talked this up as terrible I somehow expected it to be hilariously bad. Unfortunately, this was just bad--not even technically proficient, and with some of the worst acting I've ever seen.

Some interesting low budget visuals here, and not a whole lot else.

I expected this to be cheesy fun but unfortunately, this was mostly, painfully dull.

One of the most bizarre horror flicks to come from the 70s, which is really saying something, this is an utterly nonsensical trip of a movie that, beyond its premise, doesn't really offer anything special. The characters are flat, the plot is terribly explained & the script is poorly written. It does, at the very least, deliver a sentient bed that eats people (and likes boobs for some reason) & does make some attempt at an interesting story. It's worth seeing once, if you like dumb campy stuff.

What the fuck did I just watch?

This movie takes a thin premise and tries to stretch it for an entire film. The acting is weak and the script is horrible. Overall this film is a complete mess.

Tragically flawed, really. The setup is Gothic in a really lovely way and the shots of stuff in the bed are pretty cool, but it's so poorly executed that large parts of the movie are just excruciatingly boring.

This wasn't very good, but it was interesting, with some images that have really stuck with me. If I found it somewhere for a couple bucks, I'd probably buy it just to have it.

totally unwatchable - 1/5 on the so-bad-it's-good scale equals 2/100

I watched this when I was 9 or 10 and only a couple of creepy images remain. It gets credit for that.

Absolutely horrendous. And amusing